you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i drank out of a bidet.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
