I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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