Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
