what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
