Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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