I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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