it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
