Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
