Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
