you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
