This is not my ceiling
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
