found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
