Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
