You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
organizing the empties. That sober.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
