Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
