google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
