I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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