Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
