But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
