I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
