Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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