Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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