There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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