Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
