Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
