What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
