you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
