I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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