Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
