omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
