My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
