fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
