absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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