just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
be right there i have to get my cape
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
