no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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