is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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