Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
