He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
