the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
