and you said cock pushups were impossible
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
