You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
