If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
