hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
