She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
