so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Floor bacon is actually really good
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
