oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
