Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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