dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
