i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
