Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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