hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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